My self-confidence has never been great. Most of it came from not wanting to bother or annoy anyone. Consequently, I’ve always had trouble asking for help with things; not wanting to put anyone out or waste people’s time. As a young child I barely spoke. I have a distinct memory of my junior school head teacher giving me the nickname “The Ventriloquist” due to my tendency to mumble when put on the spot. In a roundabout way, game development has somehow ended up helping me a huge amount with this stupid problem.
Before I’d even considered a job in games (beyond an idle daydream), I’d been a huge games fan. Since early childhood I’d spent most of my spare time playing games. It was how I relaxed, learned stuff, hung out with friends. My parents had to hide cables to stop me playing when I’d not seen the sun for too long. When I wasn’t playing games I was hanging around talking about them with other like-minded people who also didn’t like sports. Continue reading
Almost a year ago I started work on a horror game. I suck at horror games. I can play for about half an hour of the first Dead Space game in one go before I need a dread break. I played 1.5 hours of Amnesia over the course of an entire year. I’ve had Alien Isolation since Christmas and I’ve got about 2 hours in because every time the alien kills me I rage-quit and have to go and calm down a bit. So you get the picture. Because I suck at them I don’t tend to play them very often, but weirdly I love the idea of playing them and am fascinated by them.
It’s been kind of strange getting paid to make videogames everyday. Even after six months it still doesn’t really feel like work. By work I’m referring to something you go to everyday wishing you were off doing something else, counting down the clock until you can go home. Granted, I’ve not had a huge amount of jobs like that, but I’ve done enough to know I never want to do something I hate just for the pay-check ever again. And it’s looking increasingly like I won’t have to; an awesome prospect at the age of 25. So yeah being a game developer is pretty great…